Timeless wisdom on mastering your mind, embracing challenges, and finding freedom in uncertain times. “Some things are up to us, and some are not up to us.” — Epictetus It was written by a man who had spent the first part of his life as a slave in Rome yet went on to become one of history’s most influential philosophers. If someone with so little control over his circumstances could speak about true freedom, maybe I needed to rethink how I saw mine. Here are five lessons from Epictetus that completely changed how I see challenges, lessons that are just as useful today as they were 2,000 years ago.
We waste so much time and energy worrying about things outside our control: other people’s opinions, whether we’ll get the job, what life throws our way. Epictetus reminds us that real freedom comes from focusing only on what is truly ours — our thoughts, choices, and actions. You can’t control if someone insults you, but you can control whether you let it define you. You can’t control rejection, but you can control how hard you prepare and whether you try again. It’s like a superpower most of us forget we have: the ability to decide how we respond to whatever life brings.
When life felt unfair, I used to see every setback as proof the universe was against me. Epictetus flipped that idea on its head. He compared difficulties to an athletic trainer giving you an opponent so you can grow stronger. Without challenges, you’d never develop resilience. That breakup, that job rejection, that failure? They’re not punishments. They’re training. Ask yourself: What is this teaching me? Obstacles aren’t roadblocks. They’re practice sessions for becoming who you’re meant to be.
Epictetus gave me a reality check: when someone criticizes you, they’re speaking from their own perspective their fears, their limits, their beliefs. It says more about them than about you. So why hand over control of your emotions to random opinions? You wouldn’t give a stranger access to your bank account. Don’t give them access to your peace of mind. This doesn’t mean ignoring feedback, but it does mean living by your values first not by someone else’s approval.
Epictetus’s hardest (but most freeing) lesson: it’s not events themselves that hurt us, but the stories we tell ourselves about them. A breakup isn’t what destroys you, it’s the thought “I’ll never find love again.” Failing a test isn’t the end of the world unless you tell yourself “I’m worthless.” Events are neutral. We add pain by interpreting them in destructive ways. Change your interpretation, and you change your experience.
Epictetus advised: “First tell yourself what kind of person you want to be, then act accordingly.” Most of us do the opposite. We let trends, family expectations, or social media dictate our choices and end up feeling lost. Think of athletes: a sprinter doesn’t train like a marathoner, and a powerlifter doesn’t prepare like a yogi. Each follows the training that matches their purpose. Life works the same way. Decide who you want to be, then align your actions with that path. Yes, it might look strange to others. But it’s better to live authentically and be misunderstood than to live for approval and feel empty.
Epictetus’s life proves that freedom doesn’t come from controlling everything — it comes from controlling yourself.
Your greatest power lies not in changing the world around you, but in choosing how you respond to it. That truth, once embraced, can transform every part of your life.
